Every morning the sweet light of a new day tops the Sierra Nevada Mountains to my east. At dusk the day slips away behind the Vaca Mountains to my west. In between the sun graces the Sacramento Valley, the farms, the cities and towns, the beautiful river, and me. The warmth of a day. My life in the gold of the light. My gratitude.
Don’t rush into the darkness, don’t hurry into death. Take a moment, just a moment, to notice the beauty around you. The life around you. The color and shape of the hospital walls, the antiseptic smell of the hospital. Take that with you. Look into the eyes of the doctors and nurses as they prepare you for the ventilator, as they prepare to put you under. Remember the details of the fever, of the struggle to breathe, the details of how it feels to have COVID-19 run through your body. Then let go when the drugs take you. Don’t be afraid. Relax into the darkness with your memories. The chances are you will never wake up again.