Monday, March 16, 2020

10 Things - (Journal notes)

- The coronavirus. It kills some people, others live. I've been taking precautions, but I am not especially frightened. I buried a son; think I care about a fucking disease? About death? Don't misunderstand me, I don't crave death, but why fear it? It's going happen to every one of us at some point.

- I love the feel of a light rain on my face, of cold air tightening my cheeks, and the sight of storm clouds moving across the sky. 

- There are people among us for whom death would be a blessing. A gift. Relief.

- I recently discovered that I love the music of Philip Glass. It's not that I was ever against his music, I just never really sat down and listen to it. I especially like the music he did for the soundtrack of the movie, The Hours. It's haunting and compelling. 

- Since the disease has us staying indoors, I've been watching movies, listening to music, and catching up on my reading. I am something of an urban hermit by nature, so that part is actually kind of nice. Every meal is with my wife.

- When I die, I hope I face it with some grace and some courage. I hope I get one more chance to tell my wife that I love her, that being married to her made me grow. 

- I don't believe in any form of afterlife. No gods, no heaven, no hell, no ghosts. Just nonexistence. And I'm OK with that. 

- Something else I've been really enjoying lately is good chocolate. We have some after dinner almost every night. 

- I also don't believe in luck, fate, or destiny. Life is like a bank account, you can only get out of it what you put in.


- I do believe in kindness, compassion, and empathy. That's huge. And that's there in you, if you just look. 

James

16 March 2020


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